I kind of relate with you in a lot of aspects. I’ve been where you are and let me tell you now that you have allies in this, okay? You aren’t alone.
Second, I’m not really the best person to ask about advice for depression because whoops I’m still incredibly depressed and anxious all the time. But at the very least I can tell you this much; things will get better, and whatever happens, know that at least I’m here for you, okay?